I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
