Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize