Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
