sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Randomize
