Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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