dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
