Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
