:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
