We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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