What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
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