Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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