so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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