my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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