OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize