Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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