He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
