I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
