you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize