if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
i need to put some appletini on your dick
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Randomize
