I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
