garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
