I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I touched a dick in church today
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
