We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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