The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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