Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
