people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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