Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
