Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
