Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Randomize
