they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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