Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
