I love black thongs
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
soo... how was my night?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
