oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
