I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
