i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
