Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I just gargled with NyQuil
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize