He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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