you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
