Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
