Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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