And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
