after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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