How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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