before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Randomize
