moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
