he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
