i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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