The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize