We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
