Christians are straight up FREAKS
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I'm passing your future prison.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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