so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
