Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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