my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
