he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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