at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
