she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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