adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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