Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
