do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Randomize
