Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
