What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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