is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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