Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Best friends brother. Beat that.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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