is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
